Rockin' The Suburbs.

My Bridal Shower.

2008-03-22T19:07:00.001-07:00

These are some pictures of my bridal shower today. My bridesmaids did an awesome job. Everything was coffee theme. The favors were chocolate covered espresso beans!! I had so much fun. I can't believe I'm getting married!! It's so crazy. I am blessed with an awesome family and great friends. Today was a blasty blast. I loved it. Thanks girls. You are the best. And special thanks to Melanie Kendrew for the egg mcmuffin maker. Jim is still talking about it.

2008-03-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a true story. Based on a written book. A college graduate burns his money, gives his graduate college fund to a charity, and starts hiking America with nothing but a backpack and a jug of water. He sees nature at it's most beautiful state, he meets broken people that he brings to life along the way. But his drive is resentment because of his parents lying to him. He doesn't know how to forgive. His journey is seek the truth.

See this movie. I did.

See what love in its purest form looks like.

Without love, surely we will all die.

Burn your possessions, seek God's beauty, love a stranger who is broken more than you know.

You can do all of these things. But without forgiveness, you are nothing.

Today.

2008-03-05T04:03:00.000-08:00

3 years ago today my brother Jesse knocked on my bedroom door.

I had locked it because I had a bottle of pain killers and clouded mind. I was around 89 pounds and scared. I couldn't sit alone in the silence.

Jesse tried getting in. I told him to leave me alone. He knocked again. He screamed that Tommy, our oldest brother, was dead.

I can't explain to you the feeling in my stomach and heart and head. I know now that they have a name for it: Trauma.

I drove to the UPMC Passavant and saw my mom outside in the snow, looking at the ground with her hands still at her sides. I ran over to her looking at her for hope that this was all a mistake and that he was fine. She looked at me and nodded her head.

I dry heaved. There was nothing in my belly to give. I passed all the people crying in the lobby and just walked around, vending machines and public restrooms and water fountains. I sat in a hallway for a few hours wishing it would have been me in that car. I had no appreciation for life. I should have been in that car. It should have been me.

Tommy always bought me the most ridiculous presents-- a refrigerator, a gum ball machine, a Spiderman toothbrush set with gift cards taped to the bottom of it.

He took care of me like big brothers do. He made sure I had the things I needed. The last time I saw him, he was driving me to work. He said, "I'm not going to lose you, Desie."

He was baptized in high school on March 5 in the early nineties.

He was killed by a drunk driver on his way home from getting groceries. On March 5, 2005.

God is beautiful.

I can picture God holding my broken beaten heart, just holding it in his hands and speaking words of love and encouragement and beauty and everything that is good into the open wounds and then sewing it back up and doing it over and over again until my heart is so full of love it could burst and I'd keep breathing.

God gives and He takes away but He never left me. He cried with me when I cried and He blessed me when I wanted to die. I know now that it wasn't me in that car because it was never supposed to be. I hadn't had life yet.

My brother was a lover. He had so much and gave it all away to people around him. At his funeral, there was a line out the door for 2 hours. They had to turn people away.

Today I feel like celebrating. I feel God.
and I have one thing to say:

It is well,

it is well,

with my soul.

I am a lover. I will give until there is nothing left. I will love like it's the only thing in the world worth doing. I will come back to God empty and tired and marvel at His grace. I will be broken again and again until I am called home. I will remember joy in the midst of pain and struggle because I am not alone.

I was never alone.

To Write Love On Her Arms.*

2008-02-29T07:39:00.000-08:00

"we are called to be lovers bold in broken places..."

the present.

2008-02-23T09:43:00.000-08:00

"I do not know much about this man, but I do know that his whole life conveys this one message: 'anyone at any moment can start a new future.'"
-Robert Garaudy, communist philosopher

so many of us get lost in the idea that Jesus is the past and Jesus is the future. we forget that Jesus is the present more than anything. the risen Christ is now, today... yesterday... forever. He is available for any person at any moment. just like God breathed life into Adam, Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit into us. "And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." [John 20:22-23]

this Spirit is the living Christ that we tend to miss. Brennan Manning writes in his book Abba's Child that "pessimism and defeatism are never the fruit of the life-giving Spirit but rather reveal our unawareness of present risenness."

this present Spirit means we can cope with anything, we are not on our own. "I pray that you realize... how vast are the resources of his Spirit available to us." [Eph. 1:18-19]

this present Spirit is freedom. "Now this Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." [2 Corinthians 3:17]

this present risenness is the resurrection. "Know that I am with you always, yes, to the end of time." [Matthew 28:20]

following Jesus is an act of faith in Jesus as the present here and now.

"Christianity is not simply a message but an experience of faith that becomes a message, explicitly offering hope, freedom from bondage, and new realm of possibility."
-Brennan Manning

Little Desiree'.

2008-02-22T16:00:00.001-08:00

Here's me at 5 years old. Not much has changed. :]

Story.

2008-02-19T08:49:00.000-08:00

So after Donald Miller's talk as well as all the other great speakers at Jubilee, I've been thinking. I've been thinking alot. I've been struggling with this whole salt of the earth idea. I want to be the kind of salt that breaks things down or makes ground fertile. I don't want to just make things taste better. Most of the time salt is just a seasoning that covers up something that doesn't really taste that good at all.

Ok, allow me to elaborate. At Jubilee I learned something pretty profound that I kinda didn't know about before. Jesus calls us to be the salt of the earth. But not the table salt stuff. Actual, physical, big granual salt. Back in the day people used to gather the left over salt from the Dead Sea that washed up on the shore and used it to break down manure piles and to fertile dry, unproductive land. Salt brought life from death. How friggen' cool.

So back to me and my thinking.

I want to live an exciting story. I want to be life in a land of death. I want to glow in dense fog. I want to balance out my cushy life with someone who has no life at all. I run myself to exhaustion with all the stuff that I have to do that I need to stop and think that Jesus is here. And He wants me. And that is all the motivation I need to jump into a ....

time out. Jim just texted me. "can I tell you something?"
my reply... "always."
Jim's reply... "I think you'll understand. I wanna hold you hand."

that made me smile.

back to my thinking.

I want to dive into something that will make me lesser so that He becomes greater. I want to travel around the country with a big sign on my back that says street children in Guatemala are murdered everyday because no one is there to love them. I want to bring salt and love and friendship to the people who have no idea what that looks like. I want that story. I'm standing here in a knee length skirt, high heels and panty hose with a huge runner in the foot. I am so much more than this. I want out. I'm sick of working for a place that says "we love people" but the only reason they pretend to care so much is so they can charge over $200 a night on hotel accomodations. This ain't no salt. This is straight up cayan peppering people out of their own misery. And I want out.

I think I'm going to have a lot more to think about in the next few days.

DNA Personality Test

2008-02-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

Ureteorolithiasis. aka Kidney Stones.

2008-01-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

Ok friends, so most of you know now that Jim, my beloved fiance hot man candy skater boy, is suffering from the attempts to pass 3 kidney stones. Ouch. He's basically having triplets. This is the male form of child birth. If you are reading this, you should stop, thank God for your reproductive organs no matter which sex you are, and say a prayer for Jim and his...well...you know. Seriously. I mean, look at that picture. It's like rock candy. But definitely not as sweet. We pray that he has a speedy recovery and pushes those babies out with flying colors. Except for red. Cause that would mean... you get my drift.

On a brighter note, 4 months from today we will be officially Mr. & Mrs. James Curran. Rockin'.

Reading as Renewing.

2007-12-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

So Christmas was great. I have 4 new books to read.

Blue Like Jazz [I've polished off Donald Miller's other 3 books long ago]

Sex God [Velvet Elvis was refreshing. Almost finished with Sex God already]

Searching For God In Harry Potter [I love Harry. And until JK writes more stuff I will read this to get my fix]

Starving Jesus [A book about getting out of the pew and into the world]

I love to read. As many of you know, I am always reading at least two books at a time, usually different each week. One book that I am in the midst of finishing has really stood out amongst the hundreds of other books I've read. Girls Gone Mild is an amazing book that my youth pastor gave to me to read and I strongly urge all women that are in leadership positions to read it. It will make you cry. A lot. But we have to be knowledgeable as to how our girls are being viewed by the world in order to respond to how they are feeling. Girls Gone Mild is about reclaiming innocence and modesty, it's about the undermining, deeply seeded desire of young women to feel connected and secure with the opposite sex and with themselves. That need has been slurred throughout our generation. Casual sex is looked at as normal. But when sex is casual, that's all it is. Sex. No connection. No love. It's not really sexuality at all. Our girls are growing up with the idea that sex is what sells, sex is how you become powerful, and sex is how you get men to respect you. But it is so backwards. Purity is OKAY! Being dressed so that not every single man looks at your booty is also OKAY! Our girls need to understand how important and beautiful they are. This book interviews thousands of girls across the world, and all of them have one thing in common- they are all searching for purpose and love. The whole casual sex thing throws that off and many, many girls get lost in thinking that that's how you become special. And these girls end up believing that something detrimental to their very nature makes them complete. But completion comes through Christ and nowhere else and we need to take a stand on not just how we are treated as women, but also how we allow ourselves to be treated.

Sorry, I'm a big fat nerd that seemingly goes on rants from time to time. No worries. I am not Sylvia Plath and I have no plans of sticking my head in an oven.

Love you all.
Desiree'

Shelfari!

2007-12-08T06:03:00.001-08:00

Shelfari is a cool way to showcase off your book collection of stuff you've read, are reading, or really want to read in the future. Personally, I'm a nerd and I am always reading something. So here's a little peek into my brain. It's really important to renwew your mind. All knowledge is good knowledge. Utilize your ability of literacy! It's a gift.

This plugin requires Adobe Flash 9.

Tuesday Smallgroup!

2007-11-29T12:45:00.000-08:00

just a quick reminder...

we will be having small group for middle school this coming Tuesday at Panera in the galleria from 7 pm to 8 pm. be there. bring friends. bring your smiling faces. but leave your maces/swords/axes at home.

can't wait to see you!

J-Town

2007-11-18T19:59:00.001-08:00

Welcome to my Velvet Elvis.

2007-11-15T07:37:00.001-08:00

"The point of the cross isn't forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to something much bigger: restoration. God isn't just interested in the covering of our sins; God wants to make us into the people we were originally created to be. It is not just the removal of what's being held against us; it is God pulling us into the people he originally had in mind when He made us. This restoration is why Jesus always orients his message around becoming the kind of people who are generous and compassionate. The goal here isn't simply not to sin. Our purpose is to increase the shalom in this world, which is why approaches to the Christian faith that deal solely with not sinning always fail. They aim at the wrong thing. It is not about what you don't do. The point is becoming more and more the kind of people God had in mind when we were first created.

It is one thing to be forgiven; it is another thing to become more and more and more and more the person God made you to be.

Let me take this further: If we only have a legal-transaction understanding of salvation in which we are forgiven of our sins so we can go to heaven, then salvation essentially becomes a ticket to somewhere else. In this understanding, eternity is something that kicks in when we die. But Jesus did not teach this.

Jesus said that when we believe, we have crossed over from death to life. God always has been and always will be. And when I enter into a relationship with God through Christ, I am connected with God now and I will be connected with God forever. For Jesus, salvation is now.

I need a God for now.

I need healing now.

I need help now.

Yes, even greater things will happen someday.

But salvation is now."

This excerpt from Velvet Elvis is something you all need to read, read again, and maybe once more read it through. For those of you who were at high school Remix, remember when Ben played the video about Bono? Bono pointed out that being a follower of Jesus means bringing Heaven to earth, not the other way around. It's about reaching out to those in need and being Jesus to them. It's about getting in with the lepers. It's about feeding the hungry. Salvation starts now, not when you die. Healing starts now, not when you die. Jesus died for us to forgive sin, that is true... but He also died for us to restore our broken souls. To morph the mess that we carry from our pasts. Did something happen to you when you were younger that drives you to do things a certain way now? I know that's the case with me. But salvation is here and it's now and it's not about pushing to be perfect and gaining acceptance from other people. It's about letting Jesus, who loves you more than you could ever imagine, heal your crap. Seriously. It's about being who God intended you to be... and I can pretty much guess that it has nothing to do with the clothes you are wearing or the group you sit with at lunch. Be you. And let that person be generous and genuine and loving and caring and change the world. The cross does more than just for you. It does something in you.

Engaged!

2007-11-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

and so you have it, folks.

Jim Curran asked me to marry him.

I said yes. :]

Thanks to God for answering a prayer 2 years ago that changed my life forever. Jim Curran. My best friend. MY FIANCE. Saved me. And now I get to spend the rest of my time here on earth with him...giving back to God what He so graciously gave me.

Did I mention that I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!?!?!?!

Bonfire. at RayRay's.

2007-11-05T06:09:00.001-08:00

Laurelville. 2007.

2007-10-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

You know... the only thing that comes to mind when I look back at this past weekend of fall colors, perfect weather, ZUMA ZUMA and mud football...is man, I really love Jesus Christ. I feel him when I am dancing to Hannah Montana songs, when I am painting Erin's nails 3 different colors, when I am laying in the mud letting 20 or so girls roll over me, when I am learning how to do the Soldier Boy dance, when I steal other peoples marshmallows out of their Lucky Charms... I feel God in every moment I spend serving Him. Thank you to all of my cabin girls for making it so easy to have fun and reminding me of how much God values those relationships between all of us. I can't even explain to you how much I care about every single one of you. And RayRay MaeMae ClayClay, I am thrilled that God put you in my life once again this weekend. He is doing such powerful things through the simplest things like Hannah Montana songs. Life is so beautiful. Jumping up and down at worship, shaving cream on Erin when she is sleeping...each of those moments make us better friends, closer in our faith, and we are reaching more and more toward the prize called salvation. And the invisible children video-- keep spreading the word about what is going on in Uganda. And start here at home by loving people that you normally wouldn't. I'll do the same. We were made to love. Love wins.

On that note, I think I'll sign off my blog and relax and reflect on why I am here. Jesus is my everything. He is my life. I am so, so happy that my cabin girls were wanting to know more about this thing called Faith. This is onlllly the beginning of an awesome journey for you. Keep reaching.

Laurelvillllle

2007-10-28T18:00:00.001-07:00

Cosmic PutPut!

2007-10-21T05:24:00.000-07:00

2Cor5:17-21.

2007-06-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed us to the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on God's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2Cor. 5:17-21. (italics and bold added)

I love this passage. Sometimes I forget that I no longer have to deal with my past anymore now that I surrendered my life to Christ. His blood was the atonement for my mistakes. I know this. But still I find myself under the enemy's hand, struggling to survive in this world now that I am no longer of it. This scripture helps me bring back the truth of God's grace.

When Paul says that "the old has gone, the new has come!", he is saying that once you are saved, you are now living in union with God, living a new life under a new Master. Sin no longer has the hold on you that it did before. The past is gone and dead, as your new body is dead to the "sin that so easily entangles" (see Hebrews 12 for that verse). I am no longer held captive to my stupid decisions, though the devil tries day and night to remind me of them. I have been forgiven. So have you.

How can we believe that we have been forgiven so much, for free? Because God reconciled Himself to us. That means He brought us back to him. Once I became saved-- meaning that I surrendered to God and spoke outloud to Him that I needed Him and wanted new life-- my sins were no longer valid. The person that I was died with the sinful nature that devoured my heart and I was made a new creation. So why do I still feel like crap sometimes? Probably because I'm slipping in my duties of being an ambassador for Christ.

As followers of Christ, because we are reconciled to God we get the priviledge of ministering to others to do the same. (ministry of reconciliation). Christ is using us to make an "appeal" to others...like an ambassador of a country speaking to his people. Our lives should reflect the unfailing grace and love that we have been shown, and when it doesn't we find ourselves slipping back into old habits.

The craziest thing about this scripture (and I mean crazy in the most awesome exhilerating way), is the fact that God exchanged our sin for His righteousness. Our sin was poured into Christ at his crucifixion... not just the sin of the people who were there at the time, not just the sins of Judas the Iscariot, but everyone's sin. We have all been accounted for. It's up to us if we take the gift or not. If we do take it, Christ's righteousness is poured into us at our conversion. It's totally mind numbing to realize that God exchanged something of immeasureable worth for something completely worthless.

It is by far the greatest love story of all time. I'm glad that I get to be a part of it.

lovelove

desiree'

2 years!

2007-05-26T08:29:00.003-07:00

Happy 2 year anniversary to Jim and I. :)

I'm blessed.

King Cyrus and Pete Wentz.

2007-05-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

So I bought tickets to the Honda Civic Tour this past valentine's day for Jim. Fall Out Boy was headlinging and that's Jim's favorite band of all time. Besides Suburban Legends, of course. The show was on May 22nd and we were totally pumped. We got there and walked around for a bit, found out what the line up was...

Cobra Starship (sang the theme song to Snakes On A Plane movie)
Paul Wall (you wanna see my what? yeah, your grill.)
The Academy Is... (great band, you should check them out)
+44 (Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker's new band, Travis is amazing on the drums)
Fall Out Boy (this ain't a scene...)

We were looking around at merch tables and walked by an Invisible Children booth. At first I kind of forgot where we were and took a double take, then realized "holy crap invisible children at the honda civic tour?!"...so me and Jim went and talked to the guys at the booth and gave them some cash and talked about the DisPlace Me event. It turns out that the bassist for FOB, Pete Wentz, donates a lot of money to Invsible Children. They said that he hosted TRL and wore an Invisible Children red X DISplace Me tshirt... and wore the Invisible Children (my heart is in Uganda) tshirt when he was on MTV Cribs. We were sitting there thinking, wow. Our favorite band is helping stop a war. But it gets better.

After +44 finished, they played an Inivisble Children VIDEO! Are you serious? How awesome is that? How insanely intricate and perfect is the God I worship? It got me thinking about King Cyrus (see the book of Ezra in the Bible). God uses these mainstream guys, even if they aren't in His kingdom, to display compassion and to move hundreds of hearts that were at that concert to give and to change the world. Kind of like how He used Cyrus to free the slaves of Israel even though Cyrus would never come to know Him. There's something about the wisdom of God that leaves me dumbfounded. This experience makes me want to pray for Pete Wentz of FOB everyday... pray that he comes to know the God that makes these war-stopping events possible. I know Invisible Children isn't affiliated with any religion, but trust me, the minds behind it are written in the Lamb's Book of Life. The whole organization is about love, prayer, humility and change. And that organization made an appearance on MTV, The Honda Civic Tour, and on kids' chests that bought the tshirts from their booth.

There's nothing like seeing God work upclose. Bring it, demons. God will only use your attempts of corruption for His ultimate glory.

Project Nehemiah.

2007-05-03T11:27:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Project Nehemiah is under way. A little background history:
Jim and I went to Climbing Higher. Steve Carter was the speaker. The Spirit touched our hearts through his talks of kids changing the world. Laura and I were at work one day. We decided to help a country. Guatemala has 6,000+ "street kids." They get beat to death. They are in sex and drug trafficking. They need help. They need God. They do not belong on the street with AIDS and STD's. They belong in His kingdom. They were made to love. Not made to die without ever loving. So we had this idea to build a youth center that will feed and minister to those kids. We want to love like Jesus loves... huge, selfless, awesome, and seemingly impossible. That's where Nehemiah comes in. Our conformation for this project was Nehemiah 6:15-16. Come to our benefit concert for the whole story and how we (meaning you, me, your grandma, whoever has a heart big enough to change the world), and to raise money for a great cause. Here's the flyer. Feed some sheep.

Love, Desiree'

Displaced.

2007-04-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

April 28th. Shenley Park. Pittsburgh, PA.

Rain clouds. Freezing. Wet feet.

Stuffy nose. Fever. Starbucks and OJ (i cheated. i was sick.)

Displaced.

Confined area. 1,000 bodies. Uganda.

AIDS. Children. Death.

White flag. X. Cardboard houses.

War.
Friends. awesome God. unfailing faith. commitment.

Love. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Prayer. 21 years.

Hope.

every war has an end.

if you were one of the brave kids to come out in the cold, wet air and deny yourself freedom and comfort for 24 hours to make a statement that you care, i pray that God blesses you for your amazing heart. we need to continue to be the generation that will do something about all of the crap in this world. we need to listen. we need to be compassionate. we need to get uncomfortable. we ALL need to be displaced.

love,

desiree'

Bonfires.

2007-04-25T08:12:00.000-07:00

Bonfires. One of the greatest inventions of old. I'm not sure where the S'more originated, but if you give me a second, I'll goodsearch.com it and find out. Hold on.

Aha! The answer:

Who invented the first s'more?
No one knows. We do know the three primary ingredients (graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate bars) were readily available to the American public by the late 19th century and very popular in the early 20th.

American cookbooks, food history sources, and newspaper/magazine articles confirm these ingredients were used on a regular basis, but fail to provide us with a definative person, place, and date for the invention of the s'more.

Why?
Until very recently, camping recipes [with the exception of military foods] were typically passed on by personal journals and word of mouth.
The best we can do on the history of s'mores is start with the oldest documented "proof" and hopefully, in time, work our way backwards.
Where did the idea come from? Victorian-era cookbooks contain recipes for "sandwich cookies," soft sponge-cakes filled with jam or cream fillings. American cookbooks published in the early decades of the 20th century contain recipes for chocolate sandwiches (cool) and marshmallow sandwiches (warm).

American food companies were combining marhsmallows, graham crackers and chocolate in the 1910s. These were wildly popular.

From Jason Seremak, the historian for the Girl Scouts of America, I learned that the origin of this popular campfire dessert was unclear, but the first recorded version of the recipe can be found in the Girl Scout Handbook of 1927.

-The Encylopedia of Food and Drink

OH! And in case you were wondering...

HOW GIRLS
MAKE S'MORES
(1) Place Hershey bars on graham crackers.
(2) Toast marshmallows.
(3) Place toasted marshmallows on Hershey bars to melt chocolate.

HOW BOYS
MAKE S'MORES
(1) Eat Hershey bars.
(2) Eat marshmallows.
(3) Throw graham crackers at other boys.

Even though we can't figure out when, where or who invented the distinctive marshmallow sandwich S'more, it still remains a bonfire summer treat. It's all about hanging out. It's about achieving the uniform brown color of the perfect toasted marshmallow. It's about being with friends. Sit back. Relax. Roast a few.

love,

Desiree'

Blanket Forts.

2007-04-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

A blanket fort is a construction, generally made by children, using blankets, bed sheets, pillows, and sofa cushions. A blanket fort is also sometimes referred to as a couch fort or pillow fort.

It can be as small as a tent, or as complex as the area it is constructed within allows, up to labyrinthine proportions. Tables, chairs, and beds can be integrated as supports. Heavy books can be used to weigh-down the blanket corners. Lightweight sheets can be nailed to walls. Typically blankets, pillows, or sleepingbags are laid upon the floor within, to provide a cushioned interior.
-Wikipedia

I don't know about you, but my childhood consisted of eating Ramen noodles, drinking strawberry milk, watching Eureeka's Castle and... most importantly...building blanket forts.

Some use cushions, some use pillows, some prefer spacious bunk-bed forts, others like small, closed in forts. As for me in my house, I rocked the blanket fort. You know, when you get a bunch of dark blue sheets and the breakfast stools from the kitchen and build an entire fort city in your living room. It's intriguing to me that we humans like den-like spaces. One time when I was 4 I was outside in my backyard and folded up my Mom's beach chair into a tent triangle type thing and fell asleep for like 45 minutes. My Mom has a picture of it. I used to stand in the middle of the living room playing hide-and-seek with my Mom and I thought because my eyes were closed she couldn't see me. Stuff like that makes childhood so worth reminiscing.

If you took the time to read this... you should definitely build a blanket fort and think about how cool it is to be a kid.

love
desiree'

He was ugly.

2007-04-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) called Searching For God Knows What. This is an excerpt. It's amazing.

"I remember hearing stories about Christ as a child in Sunday school, the descriptions of Him being nearly magical, having eyes that would draw people toward Him and an aura that gave people the feeling they were in the company of greatness. This led me to assume Jesus was good-looking. There was a boy at my school who made people feel this way and he was good-looking, and a girl who also was good-looking would quiet a room when she entered. The images of Jesus in the paintings on the walls of our Sunday school class had Him looking like a gentle rock star, or perhaps somebody who played folk music and rarely talked, just stummed on his guitar and occasionally swiped his hair back behind his ear. It confused me later when I read His grim physical description in Scripture. Here is a description of Jesus in the book of Isaiah:

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in
his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and
rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised,
and we esteemed him not. (53:2-3 NIV)

I realize this isn't a lot to go on, but it's enough for us to know He wasn't exactly Brad Pitt. It seems odd to me that God would want us to know Jesus was unsightly. It was as though the way Christ looked was part of the message He was to communicate.

I watched an interview with Mel Gibson recently about his film The Passion Of The Christ. Gibson said it was important for Jesus to look very masculine in the film, and he wanted an actor who was good-looking. And I thought the movie The Passion was quite beautiful, but I wondered if very many people would go to see it if the guy who played Jesus in the movie were ugly. And that made me wonder how many people would follow Jesus today if, say, He showed up in America looking the way He looked thousands of years ago. I wondered if anybody would want to interview Jesus on television. I'll bet, if Jesus came to America and tried to do television interviews, the only people who would interview Him would be the people on public television, because on public television, they are not concerned about associating their television personalites with the commercial endorsement of products.

I read a report in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology that said criminals percieved as handsome were given lighter sentences than those percieved as unattractive. The article said researchers in Pennsylvania studied photographs of seventy-four defendants, judging them regarding their attractiveness, and the trials of the seventy-four revealed that men judged less handsome were twice as likely to be sent to jail than attractive men, who were handed significantly lighter sentences when convicted. In the lifeboat, Jesus was definitely representing humanity as equal, hardly caring about how He looked. One might believe that the unsightliness of Christ was a statement of humility, but this isn't true. It would be inconsistent if Christ's looks were a statement of humility. They were, rather, a statement of truth, and our seeing them as humility only suggests an obvious prejudice."
-Searching For God Knows What, Donald Miller

gets you thinking, eh? if we sit here and say Jesus' looks were an act of God's humility...we aren't seeing everyone as equal because what is there to be humble about if we all are loved the same anyway?? the truth is it doesn't matter what is good-looking. we make it this huge lifeboat society that one person is better than another and it's simply not true. God's eyes says equality.
<3desiree'

Project Nehemiah & My Favorite Highway

2007-03-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Heyyy guys and gals. Project Nehemiah is under way. We just recieved word from the guys of My Favorite Highway (pictured above) that they will play for our benefit fundraiser for street kids in Guatemala! How awesome? I know. God is good (all the time). I just wanted to post the band info on here so you guys can check them out and see how good they are. No joke.

you can check out the band at www.myspace.com/myfavoritehighway

If you want to help with P.N. just email me or Jim at freesaints@hotmail.com and we will find something for you to do!

Also, if you wouldn't mind leaving me some feedback on here that would be suh-weet!

lovelovelove
-Desiree'

Offense?

2007-03-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

I was reading a book last night called "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. It talks about humans' biggest weakness as allowing themselves to be offended. Webster says that offense is an act of harboring resentment in hurt or displeasure. But this book describes offense as a way to defer from looking at our own character flaws by placing the wrong on other people. We as Christians need to be aware of the moments we find ourselves becoming offended. We ruin relationships by refusing to forgive and by not humbling ourselves. Most of the time we become offended because our pride has been hurt. Keep in mind that the devil's bait for us is offense, and offense and pride go hand in hand... and was pride not the down fall of satan? God is always way ahead of the devil, so sometimes He will allow us to go through our pride struggles in order for us to break and humble ourselves to fully rely on His best judgement for our lives. If we never fully recover from past resentment or offense, we will take it with us and hold it in our hearts, and our hearts will filter everything through it. But we musn't be afraid of offending other people by doing God's work and will-- Jesus offended his own family, his friends, his staff of disciples, pretty much anyone who wasn't built on the solid rock of God's will. Did you know that "many" of Jesus' disciples left him out of offense?! How selfish must we become in order to put our faith in the one who gave us life? Think about it. No offense. :)

TMNT!

2007-03-26T12:07:00.000-07:00

Okay. If you haven't seen TMNT in CGI yet... my only question is this: Why the crap not? Jim and I have seen it twice already. Once when it come out on the 23rd (we were really bummed when we found out there was no midnight showing), and again on the 24th with Kendrew, Cam, Eric, Ian, Pitch, Jess, Tony and his girl. So yeah, we've created a TMNT Entourage. So far between the two of us we've spent $38 bucks on what some people will merely refer to as computer generated images of mutant turtles with ninja masks and a rat as a sensei. But dear friends, it is much more than that. Leonardo is flippin' crazy in this movie. The rain/fight scene alone is worth seeing possibly a third time? haha. But for real. I thought I was going to be disappointed with it since most of the characters remind me of The Incredibles movie... but it definitely tops all 3 of the previous TMNT movies (and every other CGI movie for that matter). You must see it.

Believe it.

2007-03-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about grace a lot lately. God's grace is what should move us, motivate us... not clothes, money, Starbucks, Grey's Anatomy (though I'm guilty of all of these). I'm gonna start living life measured by the wealth of the blessings of God and not by weekly paychecks (that never seem to come on time anyway). I know for sure that the only thing I can rely on is Jesus Christ. He's always on time. It's amazing to me that when I ask for strength, I get it. I don't want to live life for anything else but the grace of God...so I got to thinking. God is love, right? And the best way to express love is to show it. God expressed His perfect love by creating this insanely complex and beautiful universe, along with people in His image to love and worship Him. SO!- I got this idea. I want to love like that, no matter how unperfect I am, I want to try. I want to love a bunch of kids that have nothing because of the grace I've been given. So, the past few days I've been contemplating this idea of building an orphanage to express this unfailing love I feel inside. I brought Jim's bible to work with me (his is a life application version... it's easier for me to understand). I sat there and went back and forth between Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and the Word of God. At first I grabbed Harry Potter.. then the Holy Spirit was like, Des, cmon. Read about Me instead. So I did. I opened up to Nehemiah and started to read. This dude Nehemiah had this awesome "impossible" idea to rebuild Jerusalem in 52 days!! God walked with him the entire time, through opposition of enemies who didn't believe that his vision was possible. Nehemiah kept his eye on the goal, cause he knew the truth--nothing is impossible when God is involved. There is no task too big if your heart is in the right place. So I'm sitting there thinking, hey, I can change the world. Sweet confirmation, eh? That's what happens when God calls us to do these seemingly "impossible" things. I know that opposition will try and slow me down, so whatever, bring it. I'm gonna build an orphanage with Laura and Jim and whoever else wants to be a part of something huge. I know that we as God's people CAN change the world. We just have to start believing it.
<333 Desiree'

MySpace?

2007-02-28T06:58:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot. Jim and I have a MySpace, we have 47 friends, half of them being youth kids haha. That's what my primary use for it is. That and leaving my best friend lots of pointless messages to make her smile during the day. If you have a MySpace, come be our friend.

www.myspace.com/jimanddes

If you don't have a MySpace, good. You were paying attention to me at Laurelville. I like that.

Anyways, I'm really excited for Climbing Higher. I hope you all remember to bring snacks because this time Jim is coming... and with both of us it's bound to get a little scarce in the snack department. We like our Cheez-its, mind you.

OKAY! Love you guys. See you tonight. Sorry I haven't posted in awhile...

MySpace is taking over my life! Whaooaoaoah!!!

just kidding. peace.

Why I Am A Christian

2007-02-28T06:57:00.000-08:00

Why I Am A Christian

This past Sunday at Hot Metal was amazing.

Jeff made a point that had never crossed my mind before.

"This is the reason I am not buddhist or muslim, not that I have anything against buddhism, heck if you are buddhist welcome to our church. But the reason I'm not buddhist is because, when I look at buddha I see a man hunched over, eyes down to the floor, big belly, meditating and shut off from the world. The God I worship is on a cross with his arms open wide, eyes to the sky, and in the face of fear never flinched. He cried out, My God, My God why have you forsaken me? My Jesus is hardcore, man."

Jesus is the reason I worship. I'm not ashamed of where I've been because of who I am now. Anorexia, my brother's death, bad relationship choices...I tried so hard to get through it alone. Then I think about Jesus, I think about all of the "Do not be afraid"s, and I am so thankful for the trials in my life. I want more. Because God gets the ultimate glory when I overcome them.

Lord of the Universe- my God and my Jesus- I praise you for the times in my life that I had no one to understand me, no one to trust, no one to confide in... because finally I found You. Amen.

Missing everyone...

2007-01-08T08:07:00.000-08:00

Hey friends. It's been way too long since I've posted anything. I've been enjoying the Holidays, hanging out with friends....and reading the Eragon/Inheritance trilogy. haha. I've seen quite a few movies in the past few weeks. Nothing really that good, though. Seems like music and movies are crap anymore. I miss Fiona Apple. I wish she'd come out with another album. bah. Anyways, I miss everyone.

SallyBucey, I love you and if you read this, my tribute to you for going to Austria is...HIGGGGGGGGGGGGH FIVE! I can't wait to see you next week.

And to my small group girls: the bengal kitten is here!
(i can't wait to see you guys. Anna, Laura, Bethany, Brigette, Merideth and Emily. lovelovelove.)

see you all soon!!
<333
d

Read.

2006-12-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, my brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last March. The trial was this past Monday, and I want to share with you what happened there.

The guy that killed my brother pleaded guilty. He had used all of his continuances and prolonged the trial as long as he could, but he still pleaded guilty. My family and some close friends sat and watched as he turned around and looked at us and started crying...apologizing for what he had done and said "not a day goes by that I do not think about what I did to your family." That's not a normal scene in a courtroom.

Then...my Dad, a reverend, looked at him and got out of his seat and went to where he was standing and embraced him. My Dad, hugging the man that killed his son. The guy just stood there and wept for a long time in my dad's arms.

It made me think about Jesus. Did the Lord God not send His son to die for us? It's the same kind of principle. God embraces us when we come to him for forgiveness. My Dad did the same thing.

I am proud to say that I am blessed with such a strong family. Tommy, we love you and we will see you soon.

Christmas Party

2006-12-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

what is my boyfriend doing?! is that Bible Charades?!...

Tonight's Christmas Party for Cross Trainers and Remix was pretty sweet. Model Trains on VHS=pure goodness. I kind of wish I would have traded for Jimmy Bucey, I don't think I even own a VCR...

anyways!...

I just want to take a minute and say that my middle school small group girls, AKA The Divas, are amazing. You girls mean the world to me. Thank you so much for the Hello Kitty build-a-bear and the awesome poems. Nothing else could have made me happier!! It's a great start to an inspiring holiday. It touches my heart that you girls took the time to write me such beautiful things!! I like to sparkle, and you've definitely achieved that. I can't stop smiling.

This is what makes being a youth leader so gratifying. I am truly joyful.

HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!! I know I will.

A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit... dries up the bone.

Ice Skating!!

2006-12-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

So this past Saturday some of the Cross Trainers and I (Laura, Anna, Matty, Bridgette, Emily & Bethany) went ice skating at the PPG building downtown. So fun. AND they had a Starbucks. Unfortunately, I forgot my digital camera and didn't get any sweet pictures to post. Take our word for it- ice skating is fun. Falling? Not so much.

Riding the trolly from South Hills to downtown... definitely hated by most of the senior citizens on there. haha.
Now's your moment...floating in the Blue Lagoon...

So thanks to my small group girls for an awesome Saturday afternoon.

"Is this Chinese...or Japanese?"
-Anna

"Desiree'!!! Don't you remember the 1 foot rule?!"
-Laura

"SUGGGAAAARRRRRRRR!"
-Emily

"I'm going to call Fat Mike."
-Bethany

"Eragonnnnn!"
-Bridgette

"This zipper is broken..."
-Matty

out of the mouths of middle schoolers. awesome day.

<3Desiree'

Reflection...

2006-11-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was an awesome time. Jim and I went to his Aunt Mary's in the afternoon, whom I adore oh so much. I made my Mom's stuffing recipe there! It was fun. Jim's family is like entirely off the boat from Ireland so everyone has sweet accents and stuff. It makes me wish I had my Gram's Calabrian accent. (r.i.p. grammy). Then we went to my sister's house and she made this ridiculous cherry chocolate cheesecake...like it looked like it should be on the cover of Martha Stewart Living magazine or something. It was a little hard since my brother resides in Heaven and couldn't be there to physically eat as much as possible with us...he used to bring his own plate that was more the size of a platter haha... Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday. It's become the day that we celebrate his life and give thanks for the 33 years he spent loving and giving so much of his time to everyone he knew. He was the best big brother and I love him soooo much. Praise God for family.

Alssooo... I gave my testimony for the first time this past Sunday. One woman gave me a bracelet that she wore, that really made me smile. It dangles and sparkles. I like to sparkle.

I'm soooo excited for this Wednesday... I've missed CrossTrainers and Remix so muchhh! I can't wait to see everyone. And Sally Bucey because she makes me want to dance. haha.

P.S. this song is awesome and I L O V E the lyrics.

I’ve seen your face on stained glass, in colored lights
In pictures of you looking to the sky

You’ve been portrayed a thousand different ways
But my heart can see you better than my eyes
‘Cause it’s love that points the portrait of your life

The face of love
The face of love
You look more like love everyday

I’ve read your words in the pages of your life
And I’ve imagined what you were like
I may not know the shape of your face
But I can feel your heart changing mine
And your love still proves that you’re alive

The face of love
The face of love
You look more like love everyday

You are the face that changed the whole world
No one too lost for you love
No one too low for you to serve
So give us the grace to change the world
No one too lost for me to love
No one too low for me to serve

Let us see...
Let us be your face
-Sanctus Real, Face of Love-

lovelovelove
D

2 of the best pics. Ever.

2006-11-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

These make me SMILE!!

J-Town, baybeh bayyyybeh!

2006-11-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

J-Town was sweeeeet. It was kind of hectic for me, though. I had to drive back and forth from Jumonville to Laurelville to do seminar but, it's all about Jesus. And that's the only thing that matters. That and I got lost really bad. But it's ok because my awesome boyfriend took care of me haha. I guess it really is true about guys having better sense of direction?

this is random, but I'm good at being random... God uses the deeply wounded to do great things. (I stole that from the speaker this weekend, I really liked that).

the crowd says follow us,
the cross says follow me.
the crowd says rely on yourself,
the cross says rely on me.
the crowd says earn your worth,
the cross says I am your worth.
the crowd says bear your burden,
the cross says nail it to me.
"because of the cross my interest in the crowd died a long time ago"
-apostle Paul
the crowd says be happy,
the cross says be holy.
the crowd says if it feels good, do it,
the cross says for love's sake, endure it.
the crowd says honor yourself,
the cross says humble yourself.
the crowd says do,
the cross says done.

Laurelville - Week 3

2006-11-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

Ok. So week 3 is ovvverrr. This weekend was pretty cray-cray. The boys were late for Bible study so I went over to the Motel (room 7 to be exact) to get them....annnnd one kid was definitely saran wrapped to his bed. With the matress flipped over. Very amusing.

The speaker this weekend was amazing. Steve was so cool, so chill. He really knew how to relate to kids. And he had a really sweet happy dance.

Pitcher, Jerry, Cord and Jim decided to have a late night freestyle song session guitar style thing. So funny. I don't think I laughed that hard since, like, last week or something. haha. My parents were there, too. The mud was soooo fresh. So perfect. Mom and Dad, I salute you for being such great sports. p.s. I love you.

Pictures coming tomorrow being that it is Sunday and it's illegal to One Hour Photo on Sundays. Get excited.

Oh, and Samuels still continues to remind me of how much I resemble a middle-schooler. Yessssshamesh.

Later guys, lovelovelove

Amazing-ness.

2006-11-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

Today I met my sister, Shawna, for some Starbucks. We ended up talking for an hour (I was late for work but it was so worth it). Pray for Shawna! She is strengthening her relationship with God. We both have struggled from eating disorders in the past and she is finally wanting to change her life around. Trust me, it's not easy. But praise God for that. He turns our mess into ministry. We can't do it alone! Seeing the Lord working in her is probably one of the coolest things ever. She is so beautiful.

Alsoooo, my Mom will be at Laurelville this weekend with her youth group and I will be going as a leader. Pray that I don't get sick again. I'll try and drink as much O.J. as I can. Pulp-free of course. That's a pic of me and my Mama. She's so italian and cute.

Ok, I'm at work so I should probably get back to watching Bruce Almighty. Muahaha.
Laaaaaaaaate

2006-11-03T10:36:00.000-08:00

My Battlecry site

Random. But insightful.

2006-11-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

I like Chik-fil-a, Disney pixar animated films, Jim Curran, shopping, hooded articles of clothing, making Toodies (t-shirt hoodies), drawing comics at work, text messaging, Romans 12:2, music, Iced Grande sugar-free skim caramel macchiatos with extra caramel drizzle.

"How great is our God.
Sing with me, how great is our God.
And all will see how great,
how great is our God."

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God." Colossians 1:10

I'm so new to this...

2006-11-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

So hey, I'm blogging. Kinda like it. I'm Desiree' to those of you who don't know me. I'm new to MLUPC this year...be nice to me. I'm sensitive. But no for real, I'm absolutely loving these amazing people that I get to work with (C.C. likes to feed me when I don't have cash and that's always a good thing, wink wink). Laurelville was awesome. I got to hang out with middle-schoolers, did a seminar with Ben, get thrown in the mud while Ian pulled me around by my feet, Jim was Legolas...but most importantly I got to share the love of Christ with tons of kids. Plus my cabin got pranked and it was hilarious. I'm acutally going back every weekend to do the MySpace seminar. It's cool, I'm excited. J-Town is coming up... I'm pretty sure I'll be there, so bring lots of snacks. Preferably Cheez-its. Deal?

Borat comes out today! Jim and I will see that ASAP... meaning, after Laurelville this weekend. Psyched for that one.

Hmm. So maybe I'll have something more interesting to "blog" about later. Right now I'm just chillin' with my Wendy's, about to dye my hair. I do that a lot.

Oh yeah, if you ever want to challenge me to a Ketchup eating contest, OH! I'm ready for it (come on bring it).